Results and all round general bad days….

I am sure that we have all had those days when we know we should have just stayed in bed, well this week was full of those days…

The week started on a mixed note. I received the input about the essay’s from my tutor Helen Felcey. Although there was nothing negative about it and in agreement we decided that I could increase my word count enabling a more thorough response to the essay titles and research, I somehow felt that perhaps it was just not good enough, self-doubt is never pretty and sometimes it is an emotion that I give into to easily. I think that this tainted the rest of the week for me; or rather I let it effect me in this way, how to keep hold of confidence when you find it?

The test pieces will be out of the kiln by now so of I go full of discovery and a mix of excitement and apprehension. Hoping that the alchemy of the kiln has produced some wondrous results, though having a small nagging feeling that the result could equally be ……..Yuk!

So I was a little thrown (sorry for the potting pun!) when none of the above scenarios where played out, instead replaced with a catalogue of mis-communications and a ride on Bev-leys very steep learning curve. Lessons (and lots of them) have been noted, recorded and learned.

The test samples for the gas kiln had still not been fired as they where waiting for enough pieces to fill the kiln…….. Initial disappointment was replaced by lessons learned, after conversations with the Technician (Anna) she felt that there was no need to use the Saggar as the gas kiln would not reach such high temperatures. So this meant that I could take the test samples out of the Saggar.

The test samples from the electric kiln where a different story, they had gone into the kiln in the Saggar, which had subsequently fused together…….. So close and yet so far. So Anna, in all fairness had left the fused Saggar for me to solve not wanting to damage anything.

   

Feeling ever so slightly frustrated and that the Potting Gods where testing me I set about trying to set my test samples free. I found a quiet place in the kiln room, not sure where to go in case I made a mess and or a fool of myself, so with some head scratching and with screwdriver in hand I was not going to let the Saggar win. Have I mentioned before that I have a tendency to be kack handed and a bit on the clumsy side…… Lighting matches and always cutting, chopping towards me. As I try to hold the Saggar and welding the screwdriver I can hear my husbands exasperated tones and I realise that I could end up with the screwdriver in my hand. So an alternative strategy is formed and I give the Saggar a gentle bash with the handle. To my surprise off pops the lid, heart in mouth I take a look inside, the adrenalin of getting the lid off and now to discover the results is almost too much to bare (I know, I know I have to get out more…) and it is with surprise and a wave of disappointment that I discover actually very little has changed and in fact the sandstone has not melted but has fused together slightly retaining it’s granular consistency, will this rollercoaster of emotion ever end?

Through discussions with Anna and another Tutor (Joe Hartley) it would appear that the kiln hit temperature (1240 degrees) as the Parian Porcelain had glazed but that there could be too much Quartz in the Sandstone, meaning that the melting temperature would be too high, so I now need to experiment by adding materials that would decrease the melting temperature ……. Back to those chemistry books.

I had also left the pieces for the Health and Wellbeing project to be fired, though I had now withdrawn from the Option I was still excited and curious to see how the pieces had turned out. Oh dear, more conversations with Anna, I was beginning to feel bad. I had left the pieces on Saggar lids, as I had carried them down from the studio in them, I had not thought to talk to either of the technicians’ about what they where or what material. So of course they went into the kiln in the lids and of course the Parian Porcelain melted and fused to them so when taking them off they have chipped. COMMUNICATION BEV-LEY!!!!!!!!! More learning, I think that when leaving things to be fired it is my responsibility to take a conversation with the technicians’ about materials, temperatures and techniques, their knowledge is an important part of my own learning and understanding.

 

Trying to put a general feeling of disappointment behind me I decide to throw more test pieces ready for the experiments, hoping that I would lose the feeling after a couple of hours spent on the wheel….I had obviously left my throwing mojo at home, I just could not get it right or when the shape and size was right when I took it off the hump I managed to destroy the form.

   

So instead I just threw, giving in to the material rather than fighting it, in this moment of calmness I reflect on the day and realise that perhaps it was not all so bad, and although it feels like a steep learning curve, it is about learning and that today has been full of it and now it is up to me to take that knowledge and to grow with it.

Material Tests…….

I have been preparing the material that I excavated from the Helsby Quarry, which consists of drying and grinding the Sandstone to a fine powder so that I can add it to test pieces to fire.

   

In my research I have been looking at how other professions document and record in the field. In particular Anthropology, Ethnography and Archaeology. So the material samples have begun to take on a slightly more scientific aesthetic, using test tubes and glass jars to keep and record them.

  

So I have added the material to both Parian Porcelain and Ivory Stoneware tests, some for the electric kiln and some for the gas kiln. I have put them in saggar’s as I am not sure what reaction the material would have in the firing and I did not want to damage anyone else’s work. Fingers crossed that something magical and exciting happens (makes me smile that I find it magical, one of the reasons I love ceramics, it’s the alchemy.)

      

    

 

Back with a vengeance…..

So it was my first week back after working in Delft for the past 2 months. It’s good to be back in the MA saddle………. Calmness has been restored, as calm as I get.

Though I have to say I am feeling a little stressed and worried, that the way I earn my money, takes me away from all of this for weeks at a time. I think I am going to have to look into alternatives; it is just too much time away from everyone and everything. It really breaks up the flow and coming back and seeing other folks’ work makes me feel more nervous. Time to focus……..

So having to pull out of the Health & Wellbeing Option, as I missed the deadline, I have been working on a Negotiated subject. Initially I wanted to expand on the ideas from the   Health & Wellbeing project, which investigated connection and engagement, from the view of a practitioner working in clay. I want to be able to understand my own making methods and my relationship with the material. Researching into my own ‘Clay Experience’.

Unfortunately living in a hotel for 8 weeks did not give me the possibility to explore the subject. So after discussions with my tutor via Skype and looking to expand my own width and breadth of research, I have turned to researching how makers themselves record and document.

How then do makers document their practice and processes? How do they write about their work? As a maker what is being recorded? Are we using writing as a tool? Is it reflective or documentary? Why do we record? Is it necessary? How is the documenting affecting the making process? What format is the documenting taking?

Essay writing….

This was actually a really good use of long evenings spent in a hotel room, when it’s raining, snowing and generally wintry outside. There was lots of reading and researching.

So I have spent the past week trying to turn the research into a 1500 word essay………. easier than it sounds. I had a tutorial on Thursday, this really helps me to gather (though I want to say wrangle, is that a word?) my thoughts and to decide what goes in what box and under what heading. My tutor Helen (Felcey) has a way of being able to help me herd my thoughts and ideas (not an easy task) or will ask why I have chosen to highlight that particular subject, which in turn helps me question my own thought process. This is something that I have to teach myself, to critically engage with my thoughts and ideas. I tend to get so excited about everything that I want to talk about it all, but loose all sense of order. I think that the Blog is helping me to create that order in allowing me to reflect on the process.

Glaze board, photograph courtesy of Louisa Taylor.

 I have had some great support and input from Louisa Taylor (Potter & University of Brighton) and Jane Webb (MMU). I am always blown away when people are so generous with their time and knowledge. Many thanks to both of them.

I have also begun to look into subjects that were very unexpected, Anthropology, Archaeology and Ethnography. It has been a real revelation looking into diverse subjects and finding connections between them and my own ideas and practice. Dare I say that I am beginning to enjoy this research malarkey, though it does not come naturally and I am constantly trying to find my way through the masses of reading. I have begun to edit and to engage with the research in a different way, I try to look at the surface to decide what is relevant and or interesting and dive deeper when I find something that ticks the boxes.

The Book pile grows….

I am also finding that this research is beginning to feed my practice in regards ideas about methodology and working processes. I am genuinely excited to be back and to bring the research and my making together.

Though I do have x2 1500 word essays to complete…….The second Essay is a Critical Reflective Summary about my MA journey so far. For this one I have just bought together some general thoughts and feelings, it has no structure as yet. We have an MA review next week so I am hoping that this will help put some meat on the bones.

Now that general calmness has returned I begin to realise that Delft was an inspirational trip. It made me realise that I have to find some kind of solution between making money and MA-ing, but it did give me the opportunity to focus and re-group my thoughts. After all said and done it was great to be back in Delft after 8-9 years, it is a beautiful little city I can highly recommend a visit. Some photo’s of Delft……

    

 

Nobody Panic………..Too Late!!

I am currently sitting in my hotel room here in Delft, darkness has fallen and the blue and yellow sign outside that shouts IKEA! Shines bright against the dark black, blue of the sky. It’s been a quiet day, grey, cold and wet, so I thought I would take the opportunity to read and rather proudly I managed to complete an entire book and enjoying it so much, I now want to take some words, ideas and meanings from it. (‘Dirt on Delight – Impulses that form Clay’. Click here.)

But now I am having a small panic attack as I have no note book in which to do this. Yes I could use my laptop, though writing helps me to remember my thoughts, yes I could use the one that I use for my ‘Reflective Notes’ and yes I have the one that I have been using for my ‘Option Research’, oh yes and there is also the one I use as my general ‘to-do’ notebook………. Soooooooooooo much anxiety over a notebook, What is wrong with me? And now I’m beginning to wonder if I am MA-ing all wrong and that I have no methodology or process and I am generally feeling very lost in it all. I procrastinate so much that I am fixating about a notebook??????? What is my problem? Calm down Bev-ley……..deep breaths.

I have now been away for 5 weeks, sitting in front of the computer for 8 hours or more everyday, I think it is taking its toll. I know I am getting paid for it and the majority of the time I love my job (though not as much as I love my clay) but I am exhausted. It feels as though the job is such a huge distraction from the clay and all things MA. Of course I give 110% when I am there and of course I have to earn money. Balance between my MA and needing money, when the job that I know and makes me that money takes me away from everything, it is not going to be an easy road. What to do? What is a ‘wanna be’ potter going to do?…..

Looking for that ‘Work – Life’ balance……

 

Out of the Blue……..

As you may have noticed these past few posts on the Blog I have been playing catch up.

Two reasons for this, the first is my very poor time management skills. I have to get a grip……. And secondly that I am currently sitting in a Hotel lobby in Delft, Holland. I have had to suspend my MA studies for a couple of months allowing me the time to sign a contract for the IKEA Delft Store.

It is a little bitter sweet. I am missing the Clay and MA- ness but at the same time I have to find a way that allows me to carry on funding my studies. It’s a balancing act that’s for sure. Its this or the lottery, which hasn’t been so lucky so far. At the same time it is great to be back in Delft, we used to plan projects from here until the office moved to Helsinborg, Sweden.

Suspending my studies has also had a knock on effect with regards my Health and Wellbeing Option. I have had to step out of the Option, as I will miss the deadline. I am very sad to leave the group I think that good things were beginning to happen and I am sure that they will have great success with the Option.

So over these next weeks as well as plan a store I will also be using the time to regroup my ideas for my Option. I am now researching for the Negotiated Study Option. I want to extend the thoughts for the Health and Wellbeing Option expanding on the idea of connection and engagement by investigating and researching my own Clay Experience.

I have only bought a small collection with me…..23kg will not stretch so far.
I hope that Santa was good to everyone and wishing yous lots of good things for 2015!

Porcelain Master class……….

This week we had a Porcelain Master Class run by my tutor Helen Felcey. I have been throwing with some Parian Porcelain which is a complete joy, though I have to say my throwing skills have not quiet tamed it just yet……..practice, practice, practice!!! Helen had bought along some examples including some of her own work, which was great to see. It is always very inspirational to see a tutor’s work, for me it always gives the learning experience more depth.

We started by Slip Casting with some plaster moulds. It has been a long time since I have been casting, I think my next induction will have to be mould making. I am not being distracted by shiny things honest, but instead adding another tool to my toolbox.

We then spent some time simply exploring and manipulating the material. Rolling, stretching, impressing, cutting and tearing. Taking time to handle and test and try.

I had a mixture of results, though at the moment they are in a bisque firing so things may change. Some of the forms I rolled small slabs and then draped them over a rolling pin. These felt a little forced not making the most of the porcelain.

However some pieces I rolled into slabs but creased the fabric underneath so that the porcelain would take on the impressions of the fabric, mixing the delicate porcelain and fabric texture. I then tore some strips and also cut some shapes, rolling some of the porcelain to a thinner edge. Some of these I impressed using my small Glaze test pieces. These results I could see some possibilities. The forms reminded me of blades, knives or possibly some kind of tool. The impressed pieces I can imagine as stands or bases for some of my thrown forms, which would make a really strong contrast between the strength in the thrown with the fragility in the base.

 

To My Suprise…….

On my way home from a morning romp up Helsby Hill I notice that the house with the beautiful Strata still has no garage built. So I return with larger containers and my spade…….

This time I decide to excavate a larger quantity of material from the Strata surface as that garage will be built at some point and all this beautiful surface will be hidden. I decide to take some more close up piccys of the surface, every time you look at it you see something different.

      
I also decide to concentrate on the three main colours a deep red, lighter beige and rich yellow, managing to get some larger pieces.

Looking at different methods of recording I have bought some test tubes and different sized chemical containers so that I can keep a visual record.

My plan is to combine these materials with some of the clays that I use and experiment with some glazes. The idea being that I introduce elements and traces of my own history into my work. The Quarry being my Present. I have returned to the Art School since the  tutorial discussions and though I will not take materials from here fundamentally this is where my creative journey started. The Art School is a major chapter in my history. I am unsure about the buildings future but it would be a great location to use as a photographic backdrop for the work, if it remains standing? I do have a thought to perhaps use some transfer images on some of my forms and incorporate these with the material from the Quarry, Past and Present.Though initially my focus will be using the materials from the Quarry.

 

 

 

 

 

Clocks Ticking……..

Off to a flying start this week with a Glaze Workshop Induction. I am with some of the first year 3D students so it is great to hear what other folks are up to. We covered both Glazing and Oxides it has been a very long while so it is great to get a refresher and actually discover that I have not forgotten everything.

Wednesday was another induction workshop this time in the Print Workshop. It was at Grimsby Art school that I last did any screen printing on my Foundation course which is some 100 years ago, so I went into this really knowing nothing. As I did not receive an email till late o’clock the previous night about what was needed for the workshop, ie a black and white image photocopied onto acetate or tracing paper. I rather speedily put together an image of a photograph I took in Finland of some tree branches but because it was winter it had a black and white feel to it.

              

It worked really well……isn’t Screen Printing great! I loved the immediate-ness of the process how quickly the image came together. At this stage I am unsure where it will go. These past few days of inductions have been really refreshing it was so great to be using my hands and be creative, I did not realise just how much joy it gives me.

So after my tutorial off I go to investigate Materials and Glazing. Taking a look at what we have in the workshops I begin to realise that this is going to require some patience and experimenting and possibly a chemistry book….!

 

 

 

Rolling me sleeves up and on that Wheel….. a Potting I must go. Using the Ivory Stoneware clay I threw some small pots to use as part of my Glaze/Materials testing. As they are soooooooooo small I threw them off the hump, but I could not remember how to wire them off. I know that sounds really lame but I have a memory of David Frith showing me a wee trick with a piece of cotton ……….now for the life of me I don’t remember. I will have to check my note books…..The bases where a little rough so I will have to do some Turning.

Relatively successful, its all about getting familiar with the Wheel, feeling the clay and understanding the material, I have not thrown with the Ivory Stoneware before. At my workshop at home I threw some more small test pieces this time using Parian Porcelain.

I am happy to feel that I have at last started, that I can now begin to translate some of my ideas into Making, though I completely understand that I need to take small steps and not be distracted by those shiny shiny things…

And the week comes to an end with a Wood Workshop induction; I took this as I have thoughts about lids, stoppers and possibly handles in my work. This was followed by an afternoon of turning the wee pots I had made earlier in the week.   

 

Another good week………

A very unexpected weekend……I was on my way to the Quarry (Helsby Quarry) to take some piccys and to excavate a sample or two of possible materials. As I turned the corner I noticed that one of the properties was having some building work, as it was Sunday so there were no workmen around.

As Helsby Hill rises some of the houses are built into the rock and the building work had exposed a wall of Strata…….YUMMY!!!!! So with camera in hand I begin to snap away outside the property boundary. To my surprise a wee head popped out of a downstairs window and asked “how I was enjoying the Strata???” And before I knew what was happening of I go, explaining how I am a local Potter looking at using some local materials in my work and would they mind awfully if I had a wee dig and took a sample or two of the exposed rock. Help yourself was the reply, so excavating I went.

The closer I looked at the rock the more detail you begin to notice, the finest threads of different colours winding through the face, just beautiful. Though what they are ??? More research into the Quarry and it’s history is needed. Leaving with several small pots filled with, what looks mostly like sandstone, it feels like the adventure has begun.

On Tuesday we had a talk from Kevin Hunt, a Sculptor and Curator.
The images of his own work that he showed where not so inspiring, though looking on his web site there were things that did interest me. The columns and use of totems within environments, made from the everyday, how something so mundane can take on a whole new meaning by some very simple manipulation.

But it was his curatorial ideas that I connected with more. To define a space, place items, objects within it and then to invite the public into that space. Giving them some basic instructions and letting them create and alter the architecture of the space. Thus allowing the sculpture to develop and inhabit the space.

Kevin Hunt, Empty Space (detail 1), wood soaked in ink. Courtesy the artist and Kettle’s Yard. (Contemporary Art Society)

I particularly felt that this idea could be translated into a project for the Health and Wellbeing group. To allow people to express themselves without the boundaries of failure. To let go of the everyday shit and to be fully absorbed into something that they would never have imagined, very exciting. Visit his website here.

This was followed by our seminar with Dr Jane Webb ( Director of Studies: Design)
“Ways of observing, exploring, designing and reflecting”
The seminar was an exploration into how we document and to explore with both visuals and text, to try and get us to think in a broader context. The way that Jane lectures was very accessible, in terms of language used and the visuals that supported the lecture. Truly inspirational, to be exposed to ideas around process, how to connect process with the ideas.

It began by looking at collage as a way of recording and then onto how the ‘Artist’ used the media. We also covered drawing, photography and ethnography. I am a little in love with the idea of being a ‘Flaneurs’ a city stroller that wonders through society, accessing all areas, recording modern life and yet not being effected by it’s grubby undercurrents. 

                 

We then went to the library to examine some of the items from the ‘Special Collections’. The archive includes major collections of objects and books, some of which were collected when the Manchester School of Art was created in 1838. As well as historical pieces there is a collection of contemporary work .Visit the website here.

On Wednesday I had my Ceramic Workshop Induction…………YIPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! At last I can now officially get my hands dirty. Now week 7, I initially felt that I had to wait to long for the induction to happen. But actually in all honesty I think that making would only have distracted me from getting to grips with what the MA is and what it means to me. But I am not convinced that it is up to us as individuals to push for Inductions, they should sit as part of the first project………Rolling up me sleeves and purchasing me clay as we speak.

Happy as a Pig in mud ……..    Thursday was PECHA KUCHA Day……… Fortunately for me it was for Full time and 2^nd year Part Time MA’ers, so I was part of the supporting audience. It was really very interesting; I have never been presented with this form of presenting at all. PechaKucha or Pecha Kucha (Japanese: ペチャクチャ, IPA: [petɕa ku͍̥tɕa], chit-chat) is a presentation style in which 20 slides are shown for 20 seconds each (6 minutes and 40 seconds in total). The format, keeps presentations concise and fast-paced.

This was really the first time that we had an opportunity to see fellow students work and understand a little about their thinking and practice. It was a mixed bag of subjects, thoughts, ideas, materials, research and creativeness. Some presentations were a real eye opener; some people were very brave and honest about themselves and their work. Some cast new light on a topic or were looking from a different perspective. They were mostly very inspirational and actually I would think that it was a process that really helped to focus your ideas and thoughts………maybe I should go through the process myself, I think that it may help me clarify some ideas.

the fog begins to lift…….

The Fog Begins to lift……..

Wow! ……Wow!
What a day………Did not know that Tuesdays could be so fab!
Today something happened, things began to fall into place. Though very slowly, there was no avalanche but there was a definite lift in the fog, that has been surrounding me these past weeks.

The week started well we had a talk by Jamie Shovlin, a conceptual artist. Who’s profile can be viewed here.

“Shovlin is a difficult artist to pin down. He is interested in the balance between truth and fiction and our perception of the world around us. His interventions often challenge us to re-think or question our understanding of reality. “  Ingleby Gallery-Edinburgh

The resulting work was very interesting, but what particularly drew my attention was the project ‘Hiker Meat’. An Exploitation film that never actually existed, shooting a trailer, and re-creating key sequences from the beginning and end sections of the film.

The resulting exhibition showed the birth of this process, the collaboration between writer, composer & director. They used large black boards to sketch out ideas. For me they were very visual in there own right. The different layers of artists, the overlapping of ideas, and connections clearly visible. The creative process being documented, being laid bare for all to see. It was both a great creative tool and visually very exciting.

http://www.cornerhouse.org/art/art-events/curator-and-artist-tour

& then it was Tutorial time…..
I was a wee bit nervous, it has been such a long time that I have been in a situation where I look at my own creative work with such a critical eye.

I think that my confidence left me a little, managing to display just how overwhelmed I am, with regards the research, my practice and all the ideas and general creativeness. And actually it was not until I was talking about so many ideas & how I planned to investigate 10 things at once, that the scope of the work was really revealed.

So with the help of Helen & Sharon we began to pick through my thoughts. The question was, not to lose one’s self and drown in such a wide breadth of ideas but how to pin point one place to begin. To bring some cohesion to the thought process, also to maybe let go of some of the ideas, to question and understand my own intentions………..small steps!

I have been taking some photographs of places with an idea ( idea number 51) of some kind of installation and as we were going through these, it was pointed out how similar the places felt even though they were of very different things.

The Quarry at Helsby, where I now call home, and Grimsby School of Art, my birth place & where I lived until leaving for university some 26 year ago. Why these two places? What attracted me? What drew me to them, was there a connection? This will be the first step to begin to look at & analyse both places.

Helsby Quarry

Grimsby Art School.

We also talked about beginning to make. So next step is to begin to look at material and understand glaze, oh yes and that means some basic chemistry…yummy! I am going to start testing the raw materials we have & discover what they do and what they will do when I mix them. I also plan on adding some materials from the Quarry.

And step three…….where will my practice fit into the ceramic world of today? I have favorite Potters but again to begin to ask myself more critically what is it about the work, process, material that I am drawn to. Why I do or do not like something? It was a great great day…….Beginning to put some perspective on my work helped so much. I can feel a plan coming together….

      
Some of my pieces at home……

Health & Wellbeing.
Having had the report for a couple of weeks now we began by going around the room to listen to peoples reaction to it.

It became clear that some folks are a little lost. For some it was the report itself. It is heavy going and I myself am looking forward for the author to come and go through it with us.

I felt that the group began to gel though at the same time there was a feeling of hesitation. I think that the subject matter is very emotive & for some of us it is also very personal. Maybe folks will open up as we begin to explore the subject in more depth.

There were topics that did keep recurring throughout the conversations. Accessibility bringing people and the Arts together,connecting them in some way. Through a single item or through an activity of some description. The group are divided into those thinking about there own practice participation and those considering the whole event. I think that this will be the next step how we bring these two sides together.

For me a really great week, it feels like I am beginning to find my feet. Six weeks in, I am a slow burner…….